Blessed Are the Peacemakers: Why are we fighting?

James 4:1-10

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? ² You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.³ You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. ⁴ You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.⁵ Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?⁶ But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” ⁷ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

Why are we fighting?

Sinful ways to avoid conflict or wrongly try and resolve it:

1. Just keep quiet (cf. Eccl. 3:7b; Eph. 4:29-31; Col. 3:19).
2. Stay away from one another (cf. John 15:12; 1 Pet. 4:8)
3. Change the subject (cf. Prov. 12:22; Prov. 24:28)
4. Hide information, sins, or bitterness (cf. Prov. 24:8).
5. Let time heal it (cf. Mt. 5:23-24; Eph. 4:26).
6. Try to bury it.
7. Pretend it never happened (cf. Phil. 4:8a).
8. Wait for the other person to initiate the resolution process (cf. Matt. 5:23-24).
9. Punish the other person until they change and take all the blame (cf. Gal. 6:1; Rom. 12:9-20).

What kind of issue are we arguing about? Is it a:

Remember our acronym for handling conflict:

Please God in all I do, say, think, and want

Encourage myself in the hope of the gospel

Address and alter my worship and behavior

Confess my log plank sins to others

Extend Christlike love, forgiveness, and grace

How do we address and alter our worship and behavior? Let’s look at James 4:1-10 to see.

1. R_________________ the source of conflict.

How are heart responses different from the heat of life?

2. R_________________ how my desires go off track.

Desire———-__Need___________————————–Demand

(I would like)              (I need)                                                          (I must have)

How can you tell if a desire has become a ruling or controlling desire?

1. If I ___________in order to get it.
2. If I sin if I ______________ get it.
3. If it consumes my focus or thinking.
4. To what end? Is if for _______ _________ or my glory?

3. R__________________ God’s grace for help and humility.

We don’t have because we don’t___________.

4. R___________________ Christ on his throne.

5. R_________________ in desires and actions.

6. R_____________ wrong desires and actions with right ones.

7. R_______________ your gaze on Jesus.